How To Kill A Chook

Prelude

You have noticed that there is more involved to simply consuming food, that everything which enters your body has a history which ends with you. And as you eat you realise that you are saying yes! to that history, whether the food was organically grown with love from your own garden, or industrially produced with life-denying chemicals. What subtle agreement are you entering into each time you eat? And is it nourishing you? Perhaps for this reason alone you have decided to kill your own chook, because if you really knew how chickens are factory farmed from egg to plate you would be lying to yourself to say yes! this is ok.

Finding the right chook

Ideally you would have chickens, chooks, hens, a rooster or two, wandering around, helping you in your permaculture garden, keeping the bugs low and your spirits high. You simply can’t frown when a chook is around. If you don’t have a garden, don’t have room for a chook, but still want to kill your own, look in the local newspaper for give-away roosters. They are always around (especially now due to the bird-flu scare you’ll find). I usually tell them that I plan on eating them but this is your choice. Try and learn a little about your chook, what it ate, whether it ran free with the wind, whether it was caged from birth. Remember, you are eating it and its history. Stay away from birds fed a diet of soy, although this usually won’t be a problem if a family bird.

Preparing yourself and the chook

If this is your first time, breathe deeply, slowly. Sit and think about life and death for awhile, be silent, watch your chook live according to its nature, free, ever so chookly. Although our culture asks that we give condemned men a last meal it is easier for you if the chook doesn’t eat the night before (for reasons that will later become obvious, if you can’t guess already). Make sure water is available though, you don’t want a dehydrated bird. I usually kill them in the morning, after they crow for their last time, and before the sun gets too enthusiastic.

Preparing everything else

You will need a large bucket of boiling water, large enough to accommodate the (dead) chook. Be sure to leave some room in the bucket (i.e. don’t fill it completely) as the water level will rise when the chook is submerged, you don’t want burnt toes (I usually do this without shoes, but that’s me, wear what you like). A chopping block, a stump of wood, something solid and from wood (the axe is going to mark it, don’t use your kitchen chair). An axe, more like a hatchet, something small and light enough to use with one hand. A h3 piece of wood to knock the chook out with before you chop off its head, highly recommended. A sharp knife for cutting off legs, cutting the chook open. A bowl for saving the heart, liver and gizzard. Some cold water for washing your hands, and some cold water for washing the cleaned chook. A brave and well tempered heart for killing the chook with kindness and dignity. And a second person to help can really help.

Killing the chook

First you have to catch the chook. Don’t let the chook out in the morning, leave it in its little house (but not for too long). Be kind and gentle, these are its last moments on earth, and you will be eating them soon enough. I usually talk to the chook on the way from house to chopping block, expressing compassion and trust. Trust that life is there to support us, that we are enacting one of the oldest rituals known to us, that of the endless cycle of life and death, nourishment and growth from the remains of the dead. Find your own way with the chook, express what you can, love in the way that only you can. If you have someone to help you get them to take the chook now. Hold the legs with one hand, hold the wings together at the base with the other. They should be extended like the wings of the helmets worn by the gods. Ensure the hold is firm, because without a head they will go wild, flying for freedom, into a sunset of death. Take the thick killing stick (a couple of fingers thick and an arms length to the elbow, solid and comfortable to hold) and (utter a prayer if you like) hit the chook at the base of its head, solidly so the neck sticks out and the chook is knocked out (stunned at the very very least). Quickly place the neck/head on the chopping block (helper), take the axe (you) and remove the head. This may well take two or three attempts, depending on the size of the axe, the size of the chook, and the placement of the blow. At this point the chook will start moving vigorously, so hold firm and let the blood drain for a minute or so until the chook is… lifeless. If you are doing this alone, don’t worry. Chooks are generally pretty placid (amazingly so) when placed horizontally on the chopping block with only their feet held together (it is like we have bred them to be this way it seems to me) and if you can’t find someone to help, you can still do it on your own without a problem (you may find you have to move quickly however to catch the wings before they beat you to death).

Plucking the chook

Once the bird is dead I usually hang it from its feet for a couple of minutes to ensure the blood is drained. Take a deep breath. Holding the chook by its feet plunge it into the water for 20 seconds or so, but take care that you don’t start to cook the chook already! I test it by trying to remove on of the long wing feathers. If it comes out easy enough, its done. I do the wings first, always plucking in the direction of the feather, otherwise you may tear the skin. Make sure you dunk the bird correctly the first time because getting half way and dunking again is usually a bad idea (the skin may start to tear, and cook). After the wings, I go top down, from neck to feet, going half way, turning over, plucking plucking until done. It shouldn’t be difficult, the feathers should just come out, usually between thumb and forefinger is the best, and not too many feathers at a time. By now the bird should have shrunk by half its size, and will start to resemble something you can imagine eating, and not feeding.

Cleaning the chook

Having plucked the chook you now have to remove its internal organs, digestive system, smelly bits. And it does smell, and is not a smell you can forget quickly, it seeps into your fingers and you can taste it with your nose during your cup of tea, hours later. Anyway, take the knife, lay the chook on its back, and make a small incision just below the breastbone down towards its bum. Don’t go too deep, otherwise you’ll hit the bum pipe. Deep enough and long enough to get two fingers in and start to wiggle them around to make the hole bigger. The plan is to get your entire hand in there. Work you fingers around to the right, on the edge of the lining, and you’ll start to see that everything is encased together, so if you are diligent and have long enough fingers you should be able to work around to the top of the heart/stomach area and simply pull everything out in one go. Don’t forget, it’s all connected. All is one. I don’t know what happens if you don’t get everything out at once, and if this happens, you’re on your own. Let me know if you like, I’m certainly interested, but not enough to do it myself, if you see what I mean. Anyway, find the heart, separate it, put it aside into your organ bowl. Find the liver and cut the green bile duct away without getting bile on the liver. If you do, discard the liver. Take care, lose some liver if you have to. Find the gizzard. Its the big beautiful stomach muscle, has great colours, tube in and tube out. Separate it and remove the inner stomach contents. This is a little difficult to describe, and you may have to do it a couple of times before you get it right (I know I did). You only get one attempt with each chook though. Cut it gently on the top and the bottom (as though you were going to slice it vertically) but only so far until you start to see something white. If you go any further you will cut into the stomach contents and you’ll have stones (little stones!) and half-digested grass etc all over your nice tasty gizzard. If you do it right, you can peal the flesh away from the white inner stomach casing. Good luck. Discard the rest, which are the kidneys, the intestines etc. You will also find the bum pipe and you’ll have to get rid of this too, hopefully without too much mess. Go back inside the chook with your hand and locate the testicles. They are hidden half way down the chook on its back, so if the chook is still on its back, they will be down the bottom somewhere, and look like white kidney beans, surprising large sometimes. If you have a hen, this is where the eggs are. There will also be some lungs further up, if you can get them, great, if not, don’t worry about it too much. When you are finished with the bum side of the chook, turn it around and start from the neck side. Cut the neck a little so you can get your fingers in, where you will find the windpipe and the crop. Take care with the crop, it can contain whatever the chook was eating last. Clean the neck up a little, it usually looks a little jaggered from the axe. Next and finally: remove the legs at the knees. Chooks have knees?! Well, where the knuckle is. If you break it (crunch) you can see where to cut to separate the foot from the thigh. Wash the chook in cold water and you are done. Place tenderly in storage and thank yourself, the chook, mother nature, the godsó¦ no need to thank me, if you have taken responsibility for yourself, I thank you deeply and humbly.

Cooking the chook

Some eat them raw, some roast them, some turn them into stock. If you make a stock, keep the feet! There are an endless number of books on the subject. I recommend a cob oven (clay/straw) outdoors and under the stars. Enjoy your meal.

Epilogue

It is important that we reconnect with nature if we are to continue living as part of the diverse web of life on this planet. Killing our own food as part of that process, just like the lions and the spiders and the sharks and the eagles and the traditional peoples of the world, is an important first step. Factory farming does not affirm and respect life and eating factory farmed animals is positive affirmation of everything that is wrong with our current relationship with the world. As above, so below.